There’s certain changes that you’re wanting to make in your life, but you’re stuck, perhaps stymied by it. You’re nearing that point in your midlife crisis where you long to do something different, find something that’s entirely new, to alter the direction of your life. What you’re not doing however, is taking action.
Chances are, you already know what you’re wanting to do, this to recreate, to reinvent the next chapter of your life. But instead, you’re skidding sideways and not doing anything. This might be to eat healthier, exercise more, or perhaps rid of a bad habit. Whatever the change is, it’s one you’re not willing to make.
At times, change comes easily and naturally, or it’s forced. We explore, then experiment, while learning, improvising, and then adapting. Change is often difficult, we try, but are afraid of the outcome, afraid of the consequence which is to fail.
Once this happens, we then blame and criticize ourselves, or just give up and we become convinced that it doesn’t matter that much, that it’s not that important. Then we feel hopeless, and helpless.
Making Sense Of Change
What’s known is that some who are faced with major consequences, still refuse to make changes, such as stop smoking, stop drinking, lose weight. It’s thought just 10% are able to make the necessary changes, this even if the choice is to change or die.
So the majority are unsuccessful when making any type of change, but they’re not alone, as it’s a human inheritance. What’s known is there are a few critical keys to take, which can prompt change, which are relate, repeat, and reframe.
To Relate
Find support, such as a person or community who can help, who believes that you can and will change. They “sell” you on yourself, forcing you to believe you have the ability to change. They persuade you that their methods will work for you.
Support such as Alcoholics Anonymous does this. They offer a community of similar people who are also needing to change, this by using their methods, which are proven steps, which inspires hope that change is possible.
Then Repeat
This where you learn, practice, and then master new habits, or the skills you need. What making change needs are new ways of feeling, thinking, and acting.
What it usually takes is plenty of repetition, this to master, and then integrate these new ways of being. Your community “trains” you, provides guidance, encouragement, and eventually your new behavior becomes a habit.
Reframe Yourself
As you continue to relate and repeat, you begin to see the world differently, a way you’ve never seen before, a vision which supports you in making the positive change a permanent one.
Keys Not There
So you’re trying to change, or wanting to learn something. Say you’re wanting to learn to play the piano. But you’re not even close to the level of playing how you want. So you criticize yourself for lacking persistence and discipline.
Maybe you haven’t found the right tutor, or the method of instruction isn’t giving you the will to succeed. The encouragement isn’t there. Although your intentions are right, that you want to learn to play the piano, but you can’t relate.
The Three Keys
To change, relate, repeat, and reframe all needs to be there. You need to find the proper person, in this case the right piano teacher as your mentor.
They need to have a proven program, which gives you conviction you can learn, which will inspire you while giving you hope. Then there’s encouragement when you’re doubting yourself when learning to play.
Eventually, what you’ll do is adopt new insight on yourself, gain confidence, and everything that the piano instructor teaches becomes second nature, as there’s more joy, ease, and passion.
The Need To Change
For any change to happen, the three keys need to be present. Once the “fit” is right. you’ll know. Then you’ll be inspired while filled with hope, believing that the new change offers purpose and pleasure.
What you then adopt are new ways of living. What’s developed are new ways of thinking about yourself and your life. With the three keys to change in place, you can then make any life changing alteration, become permanent.
In Your Life
So decide what change in your life that you’d like to make, or have had difficulty in making. Begin by first identifying what you want to change, something that you would like to be, or do differently in your life.
Be specific about what you’re wanting to alter. If it’s a dream, vision, or desire which energizes and enlivens you, then that’s an excellent sign towards the process of change.
Finding A Relationship Which Inspires
The new relationship is the foundation on what your change will be built on, so choose wisely. What you want is an individual or a community of people, with proven methods, approaches, and strategies which excites you, which energizes and convinces you to make change.
First give yourself the permission, then the time to learn, practice, and then master the change, this with the guidance, direction, and the support from your new relationship. The new skills that you’ve learned, will enable you to make the change that you’re wanting to make.
See Your Life And Situation Change
What some changes can prove are extremely difficult to make, which doesn’t mean that it’s hopeless. Once you begin having difficulty making a change, always go back to the relate, repeat, and reframe protocol.
Then there’s new hope, the new skills that you’ve learned, and the new ways of thinking will do is allow you to make any and all significant changes in your life permanent.